That'll cost you

Your drug test comes back dirty? If you show me the right amount of green, I can make it all clean.

Got your hand in the cookie jar? You sure as hell better make sure I get most of that cookie.

Miss a restitution payment? I can fix that for the right price.

Forget to finish your community service? My services can take care of that for a small fee.

Miss a court date? A note from me isn't cheap, but it'll clear things up for you.

Cops snag you on some petty ass charge? Making that go away isn't easy, but if the price is right I can resolve it.

You skip work for a little partying and your boss calls me to report it? I only take cash or you take a trip to county.

Keep me happy because you piss me of and it'll cost you. Once you piss me off, don't go worrying about anything except how much you're going to lay on me to make me not pissed off.

You try and play me and I'll send you to the inside with a phone call. Don't ever forget that I own your freedom and your sorry ass.

You want your sorry ass to stay free? That'll cost you.